I sometimes lie awake at night and worry. Well, let’s be honest here, I mostly lie awake in bed at night and worry. I worry about EVERYTHING…you name it, I have worried about it. I have always been this way and after having children I was infinitely worse. I would lay in bed and worry about colds, school dances, the right clothes, grades, friends, no friends, cars, video games and how they influence them, athletic uniforms…the list seemed endless.
And then, I got pregnant with Finn. Holy moly did I worry. My pregnancy was rough and I was old and overweight and diabetic and I worried like an Olympic Gold Medal Champion. Every second was spent in a state of worry and guilt about not worrying enough.
And then she was born. I couldn’t sleep for worrying. And I knew something was wrong, something was off. I just KNEW…how a mother knows. In that spot in my soul that is all instinct. Doctors weren’t too sure. They didn’t worry like I did so they weren’t sure. Something was off, they would say, but don’t worry….it’s most likely nothing. Don’t worry.
And then there was something wrong. Labels and everything. Epilepsy. PDD. All those labels and testing for everything. Things I didn’t know existed and the testing continues and I worry.
Shockingly, though, I worry less. My worries are now specific. I worry about medicine (will she take it all or will it be a fight), I worry about side effects (will she get too hot outside) I worry about skills (will she lose them in the next round of seizures.) All specific worries…real worries, I guess they would be…a lot different than the abstract “what if” worries of before.
In the middle of all these worries, I have achieved a calm. Sometimes I really even do sleep through the whole night. Because I have been given a gift.
The gift of seeing miracles.
Everyday, I get to see miracles!!! I wake up and I am excited to see which miracle is in store for the day. My older son runs…he runs well…what a miracle that he can walk and that his gazelle legs move him fluidly through the universe. What a gift that I can watch that…so I take the time to see, to watch, my son run like the wind. My youngest son can name every video game known to man and can master video game techniques in seconds. What a miracle that his brain makes all those connections and when his brain makes the connections, his hands move. What a gift that I can see that process…so I take time to listen to him explain how to move this guy this way so he can climb a wall and escape. My daughter, my baby girl. What a miracle. She has given me the gift of friends…far and wide, spanning the globe. Her mere presence has influenced the lives of people we have never even met. What a gift that she has chosen to bring me along for the ride…so ride I do. I connect with other moms and dads and grandma’s and grandpa’s who have a similar gift. That gift of seeing miracles. And then, they share their miracles with me!!! I am privy to hundreds of miracles everyday, all day. Potty training and words and walking and crawling and eating and smiling…miracles, all day long.
I am so blessed.
Thank you
Thank you for sharing your miracles with me and for reminding me of all the blessings, all the gifts that I have been given.
And mostly, thank you for reminding me of the gift of seeing miracles.
now on to the recipe
these are shockingly good. I am not an oreo fan so I believe if you are, they may even be better....
I am going to try those blonde oreo cookies maybe in a peanut butter cookie recipe later....I will let you know how that turns out...but my mouth is sort of watering in anticipation already.
OK...
take your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe.
I just used a standard one
2 sticks softened butter
1 cup sugar
3/4 packed brown sugar
(cream together...I used my food processor as my beaters are kaput and I love my food processor)
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla (don't use that imitation stuff...just splurge and buy a bottle of the real stuff already)
(blend these together)
3 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
(blend together...when using the food processor, scrape down the sides before adding the flour and then pulse until it looks all blended...10 -12 pulses)
1 10oz bag of chocolate chips (I stir these in sep in the food processor because otherwise they sometimes get a little ground up)
so your cookie dough is made
open you package of double stuff oreos (or whatever kind you fancy...I saw those mint ones and thought they might be good too)
take about a tablespoon's worth of dough and plop it in your floured (very important...I learned my lesson afte rthe messy 1st batch to flour my hands)hand...flatten it a bit and put your oreo cookie in the center.
squish the dough up the sides of the cookie as best you can and place another tablespoon on top of the oreo and do the same thing....basically, you are taking two chocolate chip cookies and wrapping them around an oreo.
I used the airpans (those air pocketed cookie sheets...thank you Jake....they have proven to be an awesome Christmas present)and baked at 350 for about 14 mins. If you like them softish, this should be great. I like them a little firmer so I put them back in for another 3 mins or so.
let them sit on the pan for at least 5 mins before transferring them to a wire cookie rack
the recipe makes about 2 dozen giant cookies.
and they are delicioius.
they disappeared before I could get pictures (fancy that) but I am pretty sure you can google them since I know I am not the ONLY one to have thought of this business.
but
I am thinking peanut butter chocolate chip with the golden oreos in the center may just about be nirvana!!!
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